The (Shakespearean) Chinese Zodiac

It’s the start of CHINESE NEW YEAR (a.k.a. Lunar New Year a.k.a. objectively the best new year).

I’ve covered the basics of Chinese New Year before, but this year I thought it would be fun to run through the Chinese Zodiac and give each animal sign a Shakespearean equivalent based on that sign’s supposed characteristics. (Don’t argue with me about any of them. Like astrology, this is entirely arbitrary and for entertainment purposes only.)

Don’t know your animal sign? Find the one that lists your birth year. Shakespeare was born in 1564, so he’s definitely a Rat.


Xin nian kuai le, gong xi fa cai, and other new year greetings to my Asian, semi-Asian, and Asian-adjacent readers out there! May your hongbao be plentiful.