Exit, Pursued by Bear: Hamlet Edition

As you all know, I am really fond of the (in)famous "exit, pursued by a bear" shtick from The Winter's Tale. I thought it might be edifying to place characters from various other Shakespeare plays into Antigonus's unfortunate shoes and see how they react to being confronted by a wild and hungry bear. Let's start with Hamlet, shall we?

STOP SOLILOQUIZING AND MAKE UP YOUR MIND, HAMLET, THERE'S A BEAR TRYING TO EAT Y--- ooh, too late.